Moments of rarity are moments of clarity

There are times in life when you just feel like your mind is floating and you are just floating along with it. Go with the flow as they say. But then you realize that time is wasting away while you just sit there trying to figure things out.

Time waits for no one. In a moment of clarity, I was reminded of this this morning. I was sitting contemplating on my next review schedule and how to cram all of the things I still have to do when I had the urge to turn around and look at the window. That was when I was gifted with this rare moment.

Do you see the little bird in the photo just by the corner of the window? That was a common bird found in our area. But its species do not normally rest on window ledges of a house. In fact they do not normally go anywhere near windows. So this was a rare and nice surprise. And I realized I was gifted with this special moment and I had to grab it. Slowly I crept up and took a photo of it. I could only get so close to it so I had to zoom in the camera on my phone to get a clear shot.

When I got the shot, the realization hit me. The time to strike is never a moment you wait for later. When you are gifted the opportunity, grab it and make the most of it. You never know when, or if at all, it will come again.

At the very moment this came to mind, another bird rested on the ledge. As I tried to get a photograph with the both of them in it, they sensed my presence and flew away. Greed and excess is never gifted. Sometimes all you need to do is appreciate what you are given and not take too much.

My mind automatically regreted attempting to take the second photograph since it was not necessary at all. At least that was what felt right. And if it feels right, then it must be right.

Every moment is special even in the most mundane of circumstances. Treasure these and the small moments as gifts. Do not take them forgranted, and do not take them to excess.


-Dani

Dear 30 year-old me

Do you own a car already? I hope so. That was one of the goals I had for you when I was 15 years old. By now you should have already saved up enough.

Expectations and more expectations seem to be coming my way. Expectations others have of me, and expectations I have of myself. "Being adult" was a goal I made for myself at 24 years old. By now I hope that it has established itself in my subconscious that it is already a habit. Among the virtues behind this goal is knowing how to manage expectations. In my case, it is learning how to deal with pressure and my anxiety. By now I am idealistic and realistic that I have overcome this. Hopefully.

Nevertheless, I also hope that by now I have settled my financial life. At the very least I hope my savings account is stable; my investments account is progressing exponentially; and my life insurance is set. At the very least I also hope to have enough savings to invest in my dream house. Career-wise, I hope that we are doing well.

I always used to remind myself that focus is key and that determination is the gas that will take you there. For someone who does not know or think much about cars I sure am writing a lot about them here.

As for my personal life, well at the very least I hope to have more true friends than before. It seems odd even for me not to have made at least three to five new friends over the years. I know I am socially awkward, but not that awkward.

Why am I writing these down? Well I hope I remember them. At most I hope I can surpass them and beyond by this age.

Oddly enough, I just realized there is nothing here about my family. By this time I hope that we have maintained our bond.

Well, that's all for now. If you ever come across this entry at a leter age, at the very least I hope this reminds you of its purpose. ;)

Set high, aim high!


Truly yours,
- Dani

To my 25 year-old self

You have reached the age of having a complete mind. Congratulations! This greeting is in the hopes of you being able to actually discern things properly.

There are a lot of things you still need to learn. But now that your mind is theoretically full, it might get harder. But who is to say that you can't believe you can still learn.

Among these things is honesty. You have been doing good with being honesty with others and with God (hopefully). But honesty with yourself is an entirely different story. You are now 25 years old. I am hoping you now realize the importance and significance of this virtue. If you still think that there are available excuses for being dishonest especially with yourself, then you are fooling no one and wasting no one's time but your own. You are making a fool out of yourself and no one else.

Another value you need to learn is reaponsibility. "Being adult" has recently taught you this; but I wonder some5imes if you can make it stick. You are 25 years old now. You should know the difference between being responsible and being reprehensible. An unpleasant attitude is also never an excuse to pursue "responsibility". That is just a selfish thing to do and you know it. Remember always what responsibility means and remember it for good.

You also seems to have let youself go awry lately. Never lose control of what you have been given the opportunity to control. Relevant to this, always keep in mind faith and focus. A so-called mid-life crisis is not something you should let in the way of your goals.

And speaking of goals. Setting goals requires self-honesty. If you are questioning your goals, make sure you are questioning them for the right reason and not because of self-doubt.

You know yourself best: what you need, what you want, what you can have, and what you can do. You know yourself best. So why doubt you? If you doubt because of what they say about you or what they think they know about you, remember this: what they think of you does not matter the most. What you think of yourself is what matters most.

In case of doubt, remember this quote: "I did it because I wanted to. I wanted to because they said I could not." It seems a little extrinsic and negatively motivated, yes. But as I said, remember this only in the most dire of need.

"Being adult" does not only mean being responsible. It also means being humble. In the past few years I think I have learned this. But recently, attempts to further my confidence blurred this virtue a little. So today, my hope is I can relearn the balance between being confident and being humble at the same time.

As I pour these thoughts out in this letter, my mind is beginning to calm down. You will notice that only a few moments earlier I wrote a letter to our 20 year-old self. I think it is because what I chose to shed and leave behind was trying to haunt me in my moment of doubt. I was so vulnerable just a few minutes ago that anxiety came back. Thankfully it is now beginning to crawl away again.

Lastly, "being adult" means knowing how to find your happiness in your life. So my hope for you is that you find happiness in everyday no matter what. Do not ever let this thing called quarterlife crisis get the better of you. Do not ever let any challenge take you down.

Whenever you feel defeated, always view things as a challenge. You like challenges. So you like dealing with them. ;) As you once said, it is just mind over matter.


Truly yours,
-Dani

Now go beat that bar exam!